Coming Out

First of all, before reading the rest of this post, you'll need to familiarize yourself with these two definitions. 

1. bisexual

bʌɪˈsɛksjʊəl,-ʃʊəl/

adjective

1. 1. 

   sexually attracted to both men and women.

   
   

   2. pansexual

panˈsɛksjʊəl,-ʃʊəl/

adjective

adjective: pansexual; adjective: pan-sexual

1. 1. 

   not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.

   
   

   
   

   Ok, story time. When I was 11, puberty started happening. It cane with the normal stuff like periods, acne and lot lf it, and also crushes, and sexual awakenings. 

   
   

   I never knew it wasn't normal to experience emotional and physical attractions to more than one gender, and people (the older generation and heretos in general) always hope for it to be the opposite. 

   
   

   And in all honesty, I never realized that everyone else wasn't like me, and didn't only have 'sexy feelings' for boys. While I did have crushes, and quite a fair few of them on boys in church and tuition, I also did have some on girls (I was in an all-girls school). It only dawned on me well into secondary school when I experienced homophobic behaviour, and frankly it came as a shock to me. 

   
   

   For a good 4 or 5 years, I've identified as bisexual, and I'm honestly really happy the way I am. And while I haven't had the courage to come out to everyone, I have told some close friends. Some of them were quite chill and supportive of it, but others said it was the Devil's work (????? And you guessed it, they're CHRISTIAN. Gee, golly, gosh. Isn't God and Jesus all about love for all? I hardly see you preaching that.) 

   
   

   It started a month or so ago, where I began to question my sexuality truly. I did like girls and boys, but the thought occured to me: what about people with other/no gender identity? If I met someone who was soulmate-level perfect for me, would I discount them because they weren't a boy or a girl? 

   
   

   And my answer is no. 

   
   

   Today, in honour of Pink Dot SG 2015, I am officially coming out to everyone who reads this. Friend or foe, it doesn't matter to me, because I don't see a reason to be ashamed or apologetic for who I am. 

   
   

   I am pansexual and proud. 

   
   

   Pansexual doesn't mean 'Oh my God I will bang anyone' or 'I'm really greedy' or 'I have super low standards'. 

   
   

   Pansexuality, to me, is simply, loving anyone who is open to being loved. I don't care if you're a boy, girl, transman, transwoman, binary, agender, or what have you. I don't care if you've transitioned (if you're trans) or if you haven't. If you're straight, bi, gay, ace, demi, pan or anything I've missed out. It just doesn't matter to me one bit. 

   
   

   If you're someone who is open to love, and if we click, if there is a connection between us, I will love you.

   
   

   To anyone who's reading this who haven't come out:

   
   

   You may feel like there's something wrong with you or you feel confused, or if you just don't have the courage to come out to the people around you because you're scared of rejection, animosity or ignorance: you are not alone. 

   
   

   There is a whole community of people who've felt the way you felt, and we are people you can seek help from. We love you, and we support you. If you ever think you're alone in this journey, you're wrong. We're all here, to help you and to guide you, and love you. 

   
   

   To the people who've come out:

   
   

   If you've have positive and supportive responses to your coming out, lucky you! And I'm very happy, and very very proud of you. 

   
   

   If you've had negative and biased replies to your coming out, I know how you feel, and it will get better. Fuck them (not literally), what do they know? They may be your family, or close friends, and not having their approval hurts. And it's fine if they don't wholeheartedly support you, as long as they don't hinder your personal mental and physical and emotional health, just live. If they do, cut them off as soon as ppssible, you don't need that negativity in your system. Surround yourself with beauty and love and supportive people. You'll honestly need it. And don't forget that I'm here, too. 

   
   

   To the people who are going to hate:

   
   

   Literally, GTFO. I have nothing to say to you except: if you don't agree, just shut the hell up. Have your opinion, that's fine. But don't fuck other people up and stay in your lane. 

   
   

   To the people who never made it/feel like giving up:

   
   

   We miss you. 

   
   

   And please, don't give up. Please please please. There is a brighter future ahead for you. Things will be ok. I promise you, that things will get better. If you ever need someone to talk to, don't keep it in, you're not a burden. You're important, you matter, your problems are valid, and you deserve to feel better, you deserve to smile. 

   
   

   I'm anticipating more hate than love for this post, but I honestly don't care. Sprout whatever negativity you want, but I am pansexual and proud, and nothing will change that. 

   
   

   Love, 

   Ber